This past week, I got hit on.
A friend called me up because her husband got pissed off at her and left. Their marriage has been falling apart for a while, I guess. I don't know if this is it for them or not because I hadn't talked to her in a while. She thinks it is. She doesn't know what she's going to do. She can't pay the rent by herself because she can't or won't work. She has cats to take care of; bills to pay; she hates to be alone; and on and on and on.
So why, of all people, did she call me? She was really a friend of my ex-wife. She is one of those people persons. She has lots of friends, just none who are single dads, good looking, who have their shit together, their own places, who are ready to start dating again, ready to make that next move to see what life can bring with the right person... like me.
She asked me why I'm not interested in her and I was then forced into that position where I have to try to nicely explain why it could never work. You're lazy, dependent, have mental health issues, and are ugly. I said, "My God woman! Your husband walked out one night and you're already looking for your new fling, personal care giver, put out for a place to stay the next?"
She even used the phrase, "If I moved in there," and that, my friends ain't happening. No way, no how. No! Although she's a friend, and I'd do what I could for her within reason, that would just be pushing it too far... No! Just no. I have absolutely no interest in somebody who is going through her shit that she brought upon herself. She needs somebody to take care of her. I am not going to do that. No fucking way!
This has had me worked up for the last few days. She has called me like 5 or 6 times, even when I'm at work. I'm simply not attracted to her. The thought of it with somebody like her not only grosses me out, but scares the hell out of me. My standards are just a few notches higher. And my life is the way I like it, very peaceful, except for the fact that I have daughters and there is always drama that comes with that.
The truth is, I would love to start dating again, but it would have to be with someone who is self-sufficient, has her own place and is not looking to move right in. A job would be a good thing for her to have, a career would be better. I don't want to have to take care of anybody at this point in my life. Her own stable place is a must. That's what I have managed to accomplish. I would want to build a relationship without living together from day one. And honestly, I'm not sure if I'd ever want to live with someone again. I have become set in my ways.
I have been on my own for going on four years now and my divorce has been final for 2 years. I've had the time to heal. I have had the time to do what I need to do, accomplish the things I need to accomplish, and get and keep myself on track, to be the dad I need to be. I have built a life for myself and my two daughters who still live with me and I don't want to fuck it up by jumping right into a shitty relationship that I know could never work.
I took care of my shit. My bills are paid on time. I have my own way of doing things. It works for me because I learned that if I fuck it all up, I will have nobody to blame but myself. That thought keeps me going. That thought keeps me motivated. That thought keeps me strong. I'm proud of myself because I have managed to keep it together. That's why I'm ready for that next step because I am a much stronger person than I was just a few years ago. I'm in a much better position than I was a few years ago. I went through my shit. It's time for her to go through hers.
I do wish her and her husband the best of luck. And although my high standards may mean I'll be on my own for a very long time, it's all for the best.
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