Personal Revelations

Last night, I had an epiphany.  

I was at work, listening to Relevant Radio (A Catholic radio station) over my cell phone app.  The church was celebrating the feast of Our Lady of Lourds, which was when the Virgin Mary appeared to a young girl (Saint Bernadette) in Lourds France in 1858.  

The show I was listening to (here's the link to the podcast) got into discussing what a divine apparition was and how it would be approved or accepted by the church or not.  There would have be investigations by the bishops.  There would be certain criteria that had to be met, etc.  It was interesting and insightful, like this show often is.  

It was also one of those times where something that happened to me a long time ago was explained to me in a different way that helped me to understand it a little more.  Specifically, when he started talking about personal revelations by Mary or Jesus or the Holy Spirit, etc.  

I guess that there have been thousands of claims of personal revelations over the years with very few being approved by the church.  Most have been debunked, or there was not enough evidence to verify it, some of them have been crazy such as the time Jesus appeared on a slice of toast which became an internet sensation after being sold on eBay.  Others were delusional people making claims.  

My own personal revelations.

I don't know.  Maybe I'm crazy too.  

The Dark Revelation: When I was young and stupid, going on 30 years or so ago now, I was getting into some stuff that I shouldn't have.  It started with this book I found about Magic and the Occult.  I read some of it, started playing around with it, made it work and paid the price.  

I'm not going to get into any specifics, but I will say that things got very real and very scary.  I delved into the darkness.  I played with the devil.  I spent time learning to meditate and perform rituals.  With that I had a personal experience one night, of a very dark nature.  All I will say is a demon came to me in a dream and offered me gifts.  Maybe it was just a dream.  Maybe it was something more, I don't know, but it was something that I never forgot.  A horrific image that will be burned in my brain forever.  The one dream that I will remember more than any other I've ever had.

In reality, my life started falling apart.  I came about as close to rock bottom as you could get.  My first marriage (did I mention that I was young and stupid?) ended, I was emotionally and spiritually wrecked.  I had legal problems with the divorce.  I didn't have any money.  I couldn't keep it together mentally enough to hold a job.  And I kept turning to the darkness because I had nowhere else to go.  All that power I thought I had came with a price that kept piling up, yet still that's what I turned to.  

My Revelation by the Holy Spirit: I didn't have anywhere to go until a certain Old Catholic priest was put in my path, through a friend who I just happened to run into while getting off a bus.  This priest really helped me to turn my life around.  He helped to bring me back to God.  

I made my confession.  He absolved me of my sin.  He blessed my home, which was a room I was renting at the time.  He helped me to expel the demons, welcome Jesus into my life, and completely turn it around so that I was able to become the man I am today.  

It was during that time that I was given a personal revelation by the Holy Spirit.  It was a physical and visual experience.  It started with an intense buzzing.  I sat down and closed my eyes and he flew in like a little bird of fire.  He took me to the cross.  I saw myself floating below the cross.  He healed the burns and stains on my soul and then he brought me back.  It was a quick and intense experience that I have never forgotten.

Again, everything got very real very intense.  He showed himself to me in a way that I personally can't deny.  He showed himself to me in a way that I know in my heart is real, but it's also something that I could never prove to anybody else without sounding crazy.  So, I don't talk about it often.  I don't know why I'm talking about it here except for the fact that I feel inspired to do so.  

The experience not only led to me turning my life around.  It led to miracles in my life that I simply can't deny.  Sometimes you don't even recognize the miracles until much later during a memory.  I had a visual experience that I will never forget.  It only happened once and it brought me closer to God.  Every time I have as much as considered his existence, that memory pops up like God saying, "What else do I have to do to prove myself to you dude?"

It is only now, years later that I can even begin to understand it, when I suddenly, years later, have a  personal epiphany while listening to a podcast.  God is real.  That's why I know it to be true.