My middle child got her own place

I'm not really sure how I feel right now.  

My middle child just got her own place and moved out today.  I just went over to see it.  It's nice.  

I mean I'm proud of her.  I'm happy for her, but I'm sad.  It is making me feel my age.  I mean it was just yesterday that she was my little girl and now she is a beautiful young lady.  It was just yesterday that I was fighting for her through the special education system.   It was just last night that she came home for the last time living under my roof.

It seems like it was just yesterday that my whole family was together.  I have been a single parent for going on 4 years now.  I now have two who are grown up and on their own.  My oldest is 25 and has been on her own for 5 years.  

Being a single dad has been a difficult blessing.  It still is.  I still have one child left at home.  She is only ten so it will be a while before I can call myself an empty nester, but it's a totally bittersweet moment.

She will always be my little girl.  She will still be a part of my life.  She is not moving that far away.  And we really have had a rough go of things over the last few years.  We are both difficult to get along with.  We have had our moments.  We have had our arguments.  There were times when we yelled and screamed at each other.  But still, she was supposed to be my little girl forever.  Now she is all grown up and I miss the days when I could pick her up and hold her and love her.  

So, I'm not sure how I feel.  Sad, proud of her, happy for her, glad she's not moving across the country. 

It's going to take a while to get used to.  

I hope my little one stays with me forever.  I really don't know what I'll do when that day comes.