I am being tempted

I am a single dad.  I have two adult children and one who is 10 who I am raising on my own.  I have been on my own for 4 years now, after 23 years of marriage.  My ex is bipolar and has made some really bad decisions which has affected our whole family, and because of that I have been on my own with kids.  I'm not going to get into the details of it, but I had to rebuild my life from the ground up while being the dad to the best of my ability.  And I did it.  

That was then, this is now.  I am now at a really good place in my life.  I am happy.  I am proud of what I have been able to accomplish on my own.  I have focused on my relationship with God.  I am focusing on being a good dad.  We have the best toys.  If I want something, I have been able to find a way to get it.  My bills are all paid on time.  My daughter has a roof over her head, food on the table, and clothes on her back.  I've made it through some really tough times and came out of it all the better.

In all this time I haven't had a girlfriend.  I am ready to start dating.  I feel like I am anyway but I'm old.  I'm in my mid-fifties.  I just haven't met anybody who I would want to date yet.  I don't really know how to.  It's been so long.  I figure if God wills it, he will put us together somehow.  It just hasn't happened yet.  

Now I am being tempted.  There is someone who wants to date me but there is no way it is going to happen.  She is not the one.  That said, I am a man.  I have needs and she is more than willing to make it happen.  I will admit, I am very tempted, but it would be a huge mistake.  There are a million reasons why.  There are tons of red flags.  Just no.

What I will say is that I am looking for the woman who can steal my heart instead of my dick.  I want a woman who I have to work for, not one who desperately needs to get laid.  I want a person, not a piece of ass.  I want to be in love with her.  

Whatever happened to chivalry?  Whatever happened to the thrill of the chase?  In my younger days, I had to pursue her.  Now they all want to jump right in bed.  It's sad.  It's gross.  It takes all the fun out of it.  

I also have to consider the fact that I am a single parent who is raising a child.  So whoever it is, if it ever happens, will have to be a motherly figure.  I want her to be a good example for my daughter to follow.  One who sets the bar high for herself.  She doesn't have to be rich, just stable and at a good place in her own life.    

I am picky.  I have standards.  I don't want to move right in together.  I don't want someone who is going to be dependent on me or that I am going to have to take care of at this point in my life.  Mental health issues are a huge red flag.  Instability is a red flag.  Where she is in her own life is a major factor.  Her own relationship with God will be a factor.  

Am I being unreasonable?  

I actually like being single.  I'm satisfied knowing that I am making it on my own.  I am surviving the crazy world.  I don't have to answer to anybody except for my little girl and my dog.  We are doing just fine.  

It would be nice to have somebody to share my life with.  Someone to accompany me on my journey, where we can help each other along the way.  I just haven't met her yet.  Maybe I never will.  I don't know.  


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