The Blog Of A Poor Lost Soul

I woke up this morning from a dream.   Some horrible people came into my home who wouldn't leave, they messed with my computer and got a virus on it that fucked it all up.  They were taking over.  I had to go have my mother call the police to have them removed. They were still there... Then I woke up, all distressed.  I have no idea what it meant.  I just know that I was all wigged out.  My Cortisol levels were through the roof upon waking.  Then I considered my whole life.  Different aspects of life that I have created for myself that perhaps I shouldn't have.  Sins I have committed.  We all fall short of the glory of God, but now I am standing accused by myself and my own conscience.  My intentions are good.  I want to be the best I can.  I want to live according to God's plan for me whatever that may be.  

  12:1 Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, but he who hates reproof is stupid. The wise don't mind being corrected.  The fool does.  The wise don't mind because they can learn from their mistakes. ----------------------------- 12:2 A good man obtains favor from the LORD, but a man of evil devices he condemns. The righteous find favor with God because God is good, and rewards those who do good, while the evil man is condemned due to his own actions. -----------------------------   12:3 No one is established by wickedness, but the root of the righteous will never be moved. Righteousness is one of the building blocks of a strong foundation to build your life on.   It keeps you blameless and that brings peace allowing you to live the good life in the sight of God and man.  The evil don't have that strong footing for their lives.  Being evil comes with consequences. ---------------------------- 12:4 An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, but she who brings shame is

The visit I had from my friend was nostalgic and has motivated me to get myself back out there.  I almost forgot what it's like having people around so, I went to an old favorite place today.  It was a coffee shop in town, where I pretty much started my social life when I first moved to Portland back in the mid 90's.  I've gone there a couple times over the last couple of weeks.  It used to be just a coffee and bagel shop, but now it's a fancy schmancy bagel and sandwich shop.  I was there for a little while.  I got a bagel and iced tea.  It was good.  After I got my order, I went outside to sit at one of the empty tables.  There was an old guy sitting at the next table eating a sandwich.  He looked up at me as I sat down, so I smiled and nodded my head at him, without saying anything, in the form of a greeting. He says, "What do I know you?"  All arrogant like.   It's like, sorry dude, I'm just sitting down to eat a bagel and you made eye contact with

For the last three weeks I have had an old friend visiting Maine from Washington.  She was able to visit several times during her stay here this time.  Her kids played with my daughter.  It was nice having them around but she's heading back home today, so all good things must end. It has been a very nostalgic visit for me because this is such an important person from a particularly difficult time in my life.  A friendship that formed when we were both going through some hard times back in the mid 1990's.  It was the most time we've been able to hang out for the last 25 years.  My ex always had a problem with her, so she was scared away for the longest time but our friendship endured regardless.   It was also a huge change of pace for me.  I've been rather isolated since this stupid pandemic started like a month after my final divorce hearing.  I was ready to emerge into the world back then.  There just wasn't a world left to emerge into at the time.  My friend has g