My dreams are teasing me

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This morning, I woke up next to a beautiful woman.  I lay there for a moment admiring her.  She was just perfect.  She was beautiful.  She was just there so peacefully, still sleeping next to me.  I was happy and wondering how I got to be so lucky.  Then my alarm went off and I woke up.

How disappointing.  Sigh...

I mean really, how disappointing.  It's like my dreams are teasing me.  They are showing me the desires of my heart.  It's not like I don't know what I want or anything.  It's not that I don't wish my marriage would have been better.  It just didn't work out that way for me.  

Back to life as normal, I guess.  Back to the fulfilling but somewhat lonely life of a single dad.  Back to being just a poor lost soul in a world of other poor lost souls.  I realize it will probably never happen for me again.  At 55, I'm just too old for the dating scene.  The women who have shown interest in me, are not what I want.  Not to mention that we live in the age of cell phone screens making it difficult to even make eye contact with other human beings.

You see, my problem is this: I only attract the crazy ones.   Therefore, I'm better off this way.  Not to mention it would be nothing but an opportunity for me to live a more sinful life.  It would be a more stressful life.  I don't know if I could ever do that again.

God help me, please...

I know what I want.  I want something that I never had with my ex. I just don't deserve it.  Oh well.

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