The Blog Of A Poor Lost Soul

You can only anticipate.  You don't know for sure. We always face the future without knowing what is to come. We will only know in hindsight, once it happens.

You would think after finding this that I would get lucky, but no.  Not me.  My luck doesn't work that way.  

I don't have anything to say this morning.   So why am I posting this?  Because sometimes you just have to freewheel it.  I am just typing.  I am just doing what I do.  I write every morning, or at least try.  It keeps my brain focused.  It keeps me sharp.  It is a way to work through my personal bullshit that I have to deal with.  It's a way to solve problems.  It's a way to work out finances so I can keep my head above water.   Writing can be somewhat therapeutic.  I can't get bogged down in my thoughts, so I need a way to work through them.  That's what writing does.  It helps to think things through, to clarify.   I write short little thoughts here, but they usually start out in my Dump Book.  What is a Dump Book?  It's like a journal except after you write in it you tear the page out and put it in the shredder.  Why?  Because nobody ever has to see it. It's a way to help me...

All good things must come to an end.  For me, it's the end of my personal Summer Concert Series.  I went to the last one last night.  It was great.  Primus, Coheed and Cambria with Puddles Pity Party opening up for them.  We also saw, Styx, Foreigner and John Wait on Aug 3rd, the Smashing Pumpkins on the 4th.  We spent the night at a hotel in Bangor Maine for that.  We saw the Foo Fighters on July 21st at Fenway Park in Boston.  We took an Amtrak Train for that.  And there was a free show at LL Bean in Freeport Maine which was Los Lobos on July 13th.  That's five great shows this summer.   There are a few more that I'd like to go to but there is only so much money in the pot.   I like to take advantage of National Concert Week which happens in May.  The tickets on Ticketmaster are like $25 bucks.  The Foo Fighters tickets, I won from a radio contest.  That was totally unexpected even though...

I have Disney Plus as part of my Hulu bundle.  I watched all of the Star Wars movies in order, finishing them about three months ago.  Although I watched them to the end, I shut them off before the final credits played through.  Still, I get the following emails. Um, I left off about a minute into the credits.  I'm not interested.  Send me some emails with some value.  What's new?  Recommended things to watch.  OMG!!! Honestly, if I don't delete them in bulk, I just skim through most of these when I'm looking for something good to watch.   People just need better things to do.  Like fixing the algorithms.  

I recently suffered a traumatic event in my life.  I'm not going to get into the details.  It's personal, and ultimately, the best outcome I could have hoped for is what happened.   The problem is that life just hasn't gotten back to normal.  Or rather, I haven't gotten back to normal because I keep reliving it, over and over again.

Everything is here one minute, then gone the next, so why does it matter?   It matters in the moment.  That's where we spend our time.  In the moment we can dwell on the past.  In the moment, we can anticipate the future.  Or we can just live.  That is the trick.   The future is going to come no matter what we do, and the past has come and gone already and there is nothing we can do to change it.  We deal with the consequences of the past in the moment.  That can ruin the moment if we let it.  Or we can make happy memories that we can look back on and smile and be happy.  Or we can await the future moments with anxiety. It's all done in the moment where we find ourselves now. It is what it is.