The Blog Of A Poor Lost Soul

I had an encounter with nature yesterday.   It just came out of the woods, wandered around for a minute, then disappeared back into the brush. A coyote in Portland Maine is not something you see very often.  Absolutely beautiful.

Yesterday, I had a new stereo installed in my truck.  It has a nice 7-inch screen.  It has Android Auto, which is totally new to me.   It was expensive, but the plan is to keep this truck for a few years so I might as well have what I want from the start, right?   It took them three days shy of a month to get the parts that they needed to get it done.  The hold up was a wiring harness that is specific to my truck and was out of stock at the distributor.  Of course, any other vehicle would use more common parts and it would have been done a lot sooner.  I have to have that one kind of truck that is different from every other truck on the market.   But it's done now.

I am the easiest person in the world to please.   All you have to do is give me everything I want now.

There is this old guy a couple houses up the street, who is stands outside with a hose, watering his lawn.  He does it every day, even if it rained the night before. It's just weird. 

I went to see the Foo Fighters (July 21) in Boston this past Sunday.  It was a great show.  I won tickets from the radio station WBLM.  I went with my middle child who is 21 now.   So, what did this cost me?  About $350 dollars.  Why?   We took a Amtrak Train to Boston North Station ($132 round trip), then the subway to Kenmore Square ($12 for two rides back and forth).   Two t-shirts, @$35 each, = $70.  That's actually cheap for concert shirts. A beer is $11 dollars at Fenway Park.  We each had 4.   Food.  It was a 13-hour trip.  We had to eat. It all adds up. I suppose driving would have been cheaper.  It's around $60 to park and probably would have costed $25 for gas.  I just didn't want to drive.  I've done it before; it is a major source of stress when you need to find parking and try to get through the traffic in Boston.   Was it worth it?  Sure!  I got to spend the day with my daughter, and we had a great time.  I just hadn't planned for it, so I had to juggl

I'm finding myself in a kind of zone this morning.  It's weather related.  I'm sure there are lots of people feeling this way. It's a nice cool morning and the humidity is down finally, after more than a week of being baked alive.  It is a huge relief.  I think my body just needs a day to recover from the heat.

This past Monday, I found this four-leaf clover. Then a little while later, I got a phone call informing me that I won a pair of tickets to see the Foo Fighters in Boston this Sunday.   Woo Hoo!!! All you had to do to win was fill out the form on the app.  I did that a couple weeks ago then pretty much forgot about it until I got a call from WBLM telling me I had to go intown to pick up the tickets at their office.      I went in town to pick up the tickets.  Damn right!   I have a little 50cc scooter that I rode intown, so I didn't have to pay for parking, which you have to do in that part of the city.  On my way back, one of Portland's finest spots me and follows me about a mile to my home.  He pulls up, and says, oh that's not the one. I thought, ok .   Apparently, somebody stole a scooter that looks just like mine.   That sucks. Oh well.   God is good to me.    

There are many distractions around me.   Today it's the beeping of a truck that is going in reverse.  "BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!" Do you know why they do that?  Because of our neighbors who are unable to pay attention to what's going on around them.  

Have you ever gone online looking for reviews on a product?   Do you notice that those who didn't like it are the only ones who are leaving all the reviews?  You know, the ones with an ax to grind?  The ones who had a poor experience.  The ones who were too stupid to read the directions and broke it. I've learned that it's the idiots who tend to be the loudest.  The intelligent need better things to do.  We don't hear from them nearly as often because they don't crave the attention.  

I once thought that being a single dad was somewhat glorious and special.  Now that I am one, I can assure you that it's not.  It's difficult.  It's a constant struggle.  It's one thing after another.  It's often awkward.   It can be fulfilling as well.  We have a lot of good times, and they do over-ride the bad.  But it's the single moms who get all the glory.  Don't let them fool ya.      

I wake up early.  I'm usually up like an hour before I have to get my kid up.  It's summer now, so I can let her sleep in.  So, I get maybe two hours of peace at the beginning of the day. It's nice. I do this for me.  I like to have a little coffee in me before I have to get seriously functional for the day.  I like to take time to pray.  I like to start my day off in peace.  I may do a little journal writing.  I may start a blog post.   Once I have to deal with anybody else, such as my kid or the phone could ring, it's all up in the air.  But at least my mornings are predictable.  I like it that way. You see, if I have to deal with any bullshit on any given day, it usually involves other people.  It's not a give in, but it is always the case.   So, I do what I do because it works for me.

I am A Poor Lost Soul.   That means I don't know where to go from here.  I really don't.  I am lost. Maybe you can help me to figure it out.  Help me to find my way.  Just don't lead me in the wrong direction.  I'm already lost.   How can you even know where to point me, since I don't know where I'm going?   I just need to find my place.  I don't know where it is, but it's got to be somewhere.  I only know what I want it to be like.  A place where people will accept me.  A place where people will care.  A place where I can fit in.  A place where somebody will be happy to see me.  A place where they won't turn on me.  A place where they won't ignore me.   Basically, the opposite of everything I know now.  The opposite of everyplace I go.  The opposite of everything I do. Other people have that.  Why can't I? I guess it doesn't matter because it never changes. I guess I am just lost.